Monday, 23 April 2018

Thought for the day

Who else finds it creepy when people follow you on social media and watch every single thing you do, but fail to interact with you in real life?

I mean what's that all about?

I must admit I am one of those people who like to 'like' and react to posts, I don't know, maybe it's the social butterfly in me or something, but I am who I am. And I'm not pretending to be someone else.

Like on instagram you can tell who's seen your story (yes, even the one time quick look at someone's story with a false handler is all it takes) and it's really, really weird. I mean if you come across my social media presence feel free to interact with it. Because it's not some dirty secret I'm trying to hide - I don't have dirty secrets like that - maybe others do? Oh, and that includes the 'blockers-you-know' category of people - someone you know if real life who doesn't want you to know about their real / virtual life because deep down they are ashamed of it, and have put your standards as a benchmark of their life, which they'll know they'll never achieve.

Now there's a thought...

But for me, I wouldn't put anything up on social media that I wouldn't have the audacity to say out loud. So, if you've been clever enough to find my old blog please do stop and say hello. Not connecting this blog to all my other outlets is a personal decision, but it definitely doesn't mean I'm hiding behind a veil of secrecy.

Saturday, 21 April 2018

Normal service resumes

It's been almost ten years since I wrote my last blog post. Things have changed drastically. All those 'tick the boxes' events have taken place, and today I find myself sitting in my kitchen sipping on a humungous mug of coffee (never drank so much damn coffee in my life to keep up with the insanity, it used to give me headaches before if you recall), typing on a Mac (who remembers, I said I'd never sway Apple??) So, as you can tell A LOT has changed.

A ten year gap in writing means a lot of things, it means your style will have changed, it can become muted somewhat, your language will have changed, you might not be as brash as you once were, and you might also start to consider other people's feelings - for what it's worth, I don't think I was ever into slamming (many) people down, but I suppose that filter is a bit narrower these days.

A ten year absence means I'll probably have to start all over again, whoever used to read this blog may have disappeared, and the face of the internet has changed drastically. What I like about this blog though is that in the ten years I've been active on other social media platforms I have not promoted this blog. No one except those few followers I used to have (from the good ol' days) actually know about. And I intend on continuing just like that. I don't plan on publicising this blog, and I will not be linking it up with my other social media platforms either. For me, the importance of this blog is in it's name - it's a silent rant, and it's a collection of my random ramblings... which, I am proud to say, have not stopped (they've just been full blown live with the people I now live with instead!)

So what has made me choose today to write a post?

Though I've been absent for years, I've still been receiving a steady stream of likes and comments on this site, even though I've not written anything. Last night was a bit of a low day for me, work has taken it's toll and I find myself wondering whether I am getting anywhere, and being utilised to my best abilities. I woke up this morning to a comment from a reader who said their father had directed them to my blog. Honestly,  sometimes it's the small things that prompt you to make big change. And I sat in bed going over all my old posts, smiling (sometimes cringing) at my old writing. But one thing is for sure - I don't for a second regret any of the things I have written, because as I recently heard, it's not just about content, it's also about context. There was a time in my life where my blog was everything to me. It was an outlet where I could find no other. I have always invested my time in people to a certain degree, but it has never been as important to me as it has to some. And that's where my blog has acted as an outlet for the many thoughts in my head, the comments I've wanted to make (Twitter is a ball of fire I found, where character limitations really take the context out of the content and can be deeper water to drown in). But most of all, what I love about my blog is that it has never been about one topic, one issue, one person, or one single theme. It's just about all the strange happenings in my life, the things I want to talk about, and the need I have to discuss with other like-minded people. Sometimes people comment, other times, they don't. And that suits me just fine.

So here I am, ten long years later, in attempt to revive what once was - not for you, but for me.

What's changed? Well, we have three new characters in our life for one. They'll make their appearances soon enough,  as they have on my various social media outlets (anonymously, of course) but in the spirit of privacy, we'll bring them in as and when it's contextually needed.

But for now, let's get started shall we?

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

When the winds of change blow somehow drift along with it

Many of you may have noticed a sudden change in my blog, firstly - I went blank for about six months, and secondly - I've now gone and changed the template to something, well, I'm hoping a little less 'morbid'. It's not that things have become any brighter than they were last year, but they have changed drastically (won't go into the details, I'll let you guess for yourself while I remain ever the mysterious one!)

Today I want to share a short poem by Sahir Ludhianvi.

I came across this shayr a few years ago and still, to this day, I am in awe of the eloquence with which he conveys his message. The urdu language has so much depth to offer, we can't begin to comprehend the same degree of meaning in English, a language which I am beginning to discover is more alien to my character than I had perhaps ever thought. Indeed, it isn’t until you are surrounded by that which is unknown, that you reminisce about the softness and heritage of your language and hold on desperately to your own being. I am grateful to my parents for showing me the beauty of where I come from, not where I belong.

Khubsoorat Mor

Chalo aik baar phir se ajnabi ban jaaye hum dono

Na mein tum se koi ummeed rakhuun dil navaazi ki
Na tum meri taraf dekho ghalat andaaz nazron se
Na meray dil ki dharkan larkharaye meri baaton mein
Na zaahir ho tumhaari kash-ma-kash ka raaz nazron se

Chalo aik baar phir se ajnabi ban jaaye hum dono

Tumhen bhi koi uljhan rokti hai pesh-qadmi se
Mujhay bhi log kehtay hain kay yeh jalvay paraaye hain
Mere hum-raah bhi rusvaaiyan hain meray maazi ki
Tumharay saath bhi guzri huii raaton kay saaye hain

Ta'aruf rog hojaaye to uss ko bhulaana behtar
Ta'aluq boj banjaaye to us ko torna accha
Woh afsana jissay anjaam tak lana na ho mumkin
Ussay aik khubsoorat mor de kar chorna accha

Chalo aik baar phir se ajnabi ban jaaye hum dono

Thursday, 18 September 2008

Status is not determined by how many boxes you tick

I have some 'friends' who sadly determine how well their life is going by the number of boxes they tick. This includes, education (and quite rightly so), job (I guess, that too), marriage (yeah, that ol' one), and having babies (hmmm...)... The thing is, it wouldn't be so bad if they just got on with it and stopped comparing themselves to everyone else, but women - yes women - I've said this before - just can't stop themselves from competing.

I wrote about this issue a few months ago, and I thought things might change (what with a few 'friends' regularly accessing my blog), but I was mistaken. The other day I was involved in a three-way-conversation that went something like this:

Me: Hey! So you're getting married, woo-hoo!!!
Friend A: Aww, jee, thanks hun, you gonna come yeah?
Me: Wouldn't miss it for the world mate!
Friend B: You're getting married??? Uff, about time!!!

[Background to Friend B: Been engaged for umm, about three years to random guy, and finally coaxed him to get on with the wedding earlier this year]

Friend A: Er, okay thanks hun...
Me: [decided to stay outta this one, coz I felt a cat-fight coming on]
Friend B: Finally, we get to see this happy occasion man
Friend A: [feeling kinda low at this point], yeah thanks...
Me: [private message] Hey listen, forget about her, people are people, they are born jealous, don't stoop to her level - ignore her! Better still, block her!

Am I the only one who thinks this conversation is pretttttty sad?

The thing is people don't realise one thing about me. Have a stooooopid 'I-think-I-tick-the-right-box' conversation in front of me and it WILL appear in my blog, I will (not) name, but I will certainly shame. People can be so demeaning these days, and I find that it is mostly women with snide comments and double-meaning, sarcastic jokes. I mean what ever happened to genuine, selfless happiness for your friend?

If you're not getting married it's 'why aren't you looking?', 'why are you so relaxed?', 'you're getting old', and if you're already married, it's 'aren't you trying yet?', 'you're looking old, don't leave it too late', 'did you know that if you have kids after thirty you start looking older quicker' (yeah, believe me I recently heard that one as well!!) - I mean WTF? You ALREADY look old at thirty, irrespective of whether you've got kids or not! If anything one would think that you'd look younger with all that running around after toddlers! I swear, some people abandon all logic and sense when they (finally) get hitched.

I don't know guys - you tell me, is this common amongst you guys? Maybe I'm just mixing with the wrong people, either that or I attract low-life, wanna-be-desperate-housewives!

PS: Dreamer - Good idea about the series on Facebook. Definitely going to look into that, so watch this space! :)

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Wannabe Facebook 'Mozlems'

So here's how it goes:

- View profile page
- Info: "I love Islam, reading the Quran, reading Islamic books - Muhammed (PBUH) is the greatest hero, Allah is the best - and I am an active member of the Muslims Appreciation Society"
- View photo album
- Shots from umm... rather questionable club / beaches / or places that look awfully similar to street kerbs...!!!

Me thinking, huh? + connection = wtf???

Don't you just hate it when you add someone as a friend on Facebook and they have some looooong essay about how 'Mozlem' they are and how they love their religion? These are people with profile pages as long as my dissertation, with ayahs and religious quotes sprawled all over it. They've probably got the old "Hadith-a-Day" application and are likely to be members of "Sa-la-ma: Religion of peace", "Muhammed - our messenger", "let's bring Shariah law to the UK" groups, but at the same time you look at their updated photo albums and all you see are pictures of what looks a lot like an alcoholic drink (you give benefit of the doubt and click on), you then see fag in the hand, and arm around one-two-three-random blokes / girls... I mean come on, what's that all about?

The thing is I'm not judging anyone for doing what they do - but I am going to stop taking anyone seriously if they're a two-faced lying twat. I mean, why live a lie? Surely, Allah sees everything? There's no point in putting BS stories about how religious you are when you haven't even got the decency to live out your life like a proper Muslim - or forget living like a Muslim, just being true to yourself! Sadly, being a Muslim (in the true, correct way - don't give me this 'reformation' malarkey) means no alcohol, no free dating (forget dating, it means no snogging - that includes the same-sex, yes, I am serious, this is common 'stoopid-play' amongst the younger generation) and it sure as hell means no revealing anything beyond what you wouldn't reveal when leaving the house!

I get soooo angry when I see idiots who go on and on and on and on and on about how much Islam means to them and act like flippin' angels in front of everyone, when deep down you know what they're really about. Just today T and I were having a meal, and this time, thankfully it wasn't me who brought this subject up, it was her. T was as infuriated as me about the double standards people from our generation apply these days. It seemed to me as though T had only recently come across this rather bizarre phenomena, but most of us have seen it for months. It's a joke, and the sad thing is that it really does change your opinion about a person within minutes. It's like for god's sake, do what the hell you want, just don't act like you're a saint while you're doing it, because you're not.

I know I'm going on about Facebook a lot these days, but these damn, stoopid kids are p***ing me off :@

Monday, 15 September 2008

Facebook: A haven for classified nutters

Yes, it has been ages since I last wrote, but what can I say, I have been busy! (I would apologise, but why should I, this place is after all my little 'space' where I can do whatever the hell I like and do as I please... so, I won't - time to lose a lot of readers after that one! ;p lol, only joking!) So... what have I been up to recently? Not much, actually no I lie, I've been up to loads, but those are all stories I will save for another day.

For now, I will talk about an issue that is totally winding me up these days - Facebook. I admit, I am a self-declared addict, but at the same time I can't help but cringe at the number of stalkers, freaks and nutters who think it is their god-given right to add, poke, desi-poke, and message. I mean, what's that all about? You'd think people would get embarrassed at adding someone they don't know just to be rejected, but no - and guess what, the majority of them seem to be off-the-boaties... eeeuuugggh, it's yuk, and I can't stand it. The other day I got messaged by a one 'Kashif Butt*', this is how the conversation went:


KB: [blank message]

Me: Do I know you?

KB: ii want friend ship with you i m from dubai can you want friend ship with me you have any yahoo id or msn plz if want then send it to me id thankx you i m from pakistan you loking waoooo

Me: no thank you

KB: acha yarra app naraz kioon hotti heinye bhi app ki meher bani hein ke reply tu deya thanks wessy app hein bohat peyari hein dont mind

A month later (I think he'd forgotten that he'd already messaged me)

KB: daffa door nahi tu na sahi

Me: [believe me, you do not want to know what I wrote back the second time round!]

I mean, you'd think that the loser would've taken a hint, but no... I then had to block the twit and then reported him. I mean where do these people get off??? It's irritating as hell! Needless to say I have now increased my privacy to the highest setting, what does this mean? It means that you can no longer find me on Facebook unless you are my friend (yay!!!) - bad news for some old friends who may be looking for me; excellent news to avoid potential stalkers with ample time to sit in front of their PCs late at night trying to figure out updates about my life - freakazoids! Spare the humiliation, we know who you are!

* Name has not been changed because I want to humiliate the little twat, and hopefully it'll teach anymore future twats from making the same mistake - you will be named, and you will be shamed. Got it?!

Saturday, 19 July 2008

Random Ramblings Rated 8.1 on

Yay! Finally, my talents are recognised!! Haha, only joking... (umm, yeah right), so I scored an whooping great 8.1 - which, in case you aren't familiar with the language of demical points - means 'GRRRREAT' - Yup, just like Tony said! Yes, pretty chuffed, so here's the link:

Sooo, where have I been? I know, I'm sorry guys, just came back from the ol' homeland, i.e., Karachi, and what a trip it was! I fell ill when I got there (forgot that I was a 'phoreigner' and thought I could stomach the water) and then got scared sh*te-less (well no, not quite) when the six, or was it seven? No, no, definitely seven, bombs went off, and then came back only to get a form of food poisoning - yes, seem to have puked up my guts in the last week!! :( *poor me*

The good news is that I think I have fully recovered now... but unfortunately told by my Doc to lay off over-exherting myself, which means I will not be able to take part in the race for life tomorrow! Totally disappointed, because I was really looking forward to it. Oh well, never mind, inshallah next year - on to bigger and better things. But! My other team members will still be doing it tomorrow. Let's hope all goes according to plan tomorrow! Good luck guys... :)

Thought for the day

W ho else finds it creepy when people follow you on social media and watch every single thing you do, but fail to interact with you in real ...